I gazed out at the pouring rain this morning, enjoying the incoming monsoon. The sound of the drops of water clapping against the ground, the trees and the rooftop was music to my ears; while the fresh water embracing the nature that surrounded me filled my heart with joy. Then it happened. I laughed and laughed and laughed some more. I understood the metaphor behind the monsoon.
|Image by Jeff Melvin|
I suppose that in order to explain my mirthful expression, I need to back track a bit. Truth be told, I have always enjoyed a good old fashioned downpour, and certainly I have celebrated the nurturing energy that rain brings to us. The human body and the planet at large consists of approximately 75% water, so I am happy when more of it shows up, replenishing me and Mother Earth. I have never passed up a moment to open the doors and windows to get a little closer to the rain and even today, I put a cup outside so I could drink from the sky's bounty. Rain certainly has showed me that it symbolizes the cleansing of our Spirit and I put it on its proper pedestal to show my appreciation. Yet, today's realization was different. It showed me great clarity and I am compelled to share my enthusiasm.
For you see, twenty-four hours ago I didn't have any running water at the home where I am staying. For about eighteen hours I was in the land of the waterless. I couldn't take a shower. I couldn't do the dishes, which by the way, was not an easy thing for someone who likes her body and her space to be clean. The worst part of it was that I couldn't flush the toilet! That was a little tough for me to take and admittedly, I was in a bit of a panic.
If I were the actual tenant of the building I could have called the landlord and the water company, but I am only the house-sitter for someone who is renting and therefore, I had no access to either resource for a possible solution and for all I knew this home would never see water again. I tried contacting my friend who I am house-sitting for, but all to no avail. So, the dishes sat undone and I skipped my evening shower. Yikes, what's a girl to do?
When morning arrived, I ventured to the store and picked up as many bottles of water I could carry so that I could do the dishes and flush the urine-filled toilet. Thankfully success was had on both ends. I next ambled to a friend's home that lives nearby so that I could take my shower and cleanliness was at hand, as well. Eventually, within a few more hours, the water was turned back on and all was well in the world—except for one tiny little thing. Ever the philosopher that I am, I had to figure out what the meaning of all this was, for I know that everything in the physical world is a metaphor for where we are Spiritually. So, the investigation into Self began.
The message I received from the Universe was very loud and very clear and I rejoiced in the unfolding of my Spiritual revelation. What I came up with was the understanding that I have been, like so many women out there, coveting my masculine energy for much of my life and denying the beautiful gifts the feminine aspect has to offer. Intuition, nurturing, the ability to successfully multi-task and most importantly the gift of feeling were never a priority in my world until the last few years. I belonged to the corporate boys club and therefore I played the role of being tough as nails—and I must admit, I was good at it.
Fortunately, Spiritual Awakening has been in the forefront of my continuing creation of Self in the last few years and as such, the Divine Feminine in me has been coming out to play on a more regular basis. In fact, in the last few months, I have been cherishing this side of myself to my fullest capacity, honoring the "me" that I have been hiding for so long. With this new sense of pride that I have been feeling, one thing that has been quite surprising, has showed up in full-force—and that one thing is a great big outpouring of every kind of emotion you can imagine. From anger to sadness, to then joy and a feeling of Zen, then back to anger and sadness again; I have frankly been experiencing a cyclical round of emotions from one to the other to the other. The flurry of emotions are chasing me like the sunflower chases the sun—and I am frankly not used to it.
So, as I asked the Universe about the water being stopped up, I realized that my emotions have been stopped up for over forty plus years and they needed to come out and play. And that my friends is certainly what they have been doing. Beyond that, as I experience the plethora of emotions, whether they are pleasant or painful, I am allowing myself to deeply feel on both the physical and emotional levels. I have always held up my guard to varying degrees with people and it would seem that the wall is plummeting down.
This sense of feeling allows me to embrace all feelings, including the most important emotion of Love to its greatest extent. It occurred to me that the "thinking" Masculine energy craves the embrace of the "feeling" Feminine energy and when I am constantly in masculine mode I am shunning any true sense of balance and therefore I am not able to open up fully into Divine Partnership. A-ha, revelation! But, I am not done yet...
As I mentioned, the water in the house eventually turned back on and then this morning, the annual Sedona summer monsoon showed itself in its full glory and I began to laugh. For only a half a day earlier I did not have any water, symbolizing my lifelong lack of emotionalism and now the rain was pouring down showing me that I have shifted. I am now honoring my true emotional state, allowing myself to feel whatever I need to feel in any given moment...including Love for Divine Partner, when he shows up.
Taking this whole idea a step further, I have opened my eyes to the beliefs that I have held onto about whomever this person will be. I think I am not alone when I write that I have been plagued by my own set of "rules" regarding the whole dating world and now I have decided that I am throwing the rule book out the door and allowing myself to go with the flow instead of fighting to go upstream (Oh look, more water references.) The thing that is important for me to remember is that only this moment of now is what counts and worrying about the future is not serving me or anyone else.
So, as I look out the window now, the sun has begun to peer out from behind the clouds and I suppose that symbolizes my current sunny disposition.
Thank you for reading and Namaste! (The Light in me recognizes the Light in you!)