It fascinates me how lessons are learned. Sometimes it’s in the midst of observing a painful dialogue between others. The other night, I had one such experience. While socializing with three other women, we were all getting to know one another better when one of them brought up a painful subject that was very much part of her life. While I chose to listen, the other two were determined to set this woman straight. It was their thought that she could not be healed unless they saw things her way. No matter how much the story teller said she was sticking to her original game plan, the other two continued to try and force their ideas on her, hoping she would see the light…or rather, their light.
As an empath, I was feeling all the emotions circulating around the room. I was feeling psychically as well as physically ill. Why were these women trying so hard to present their case I wondered? The woman they were trying to help clearly did not want their assistance in this matter. She had her own thoughts on how she wanted to proceed and that was final. The other two just would not let their “teaching” go.
Under normal circumstances I would have long left the party or at least would have left the room. As I was a guest in the home where we were and my bedroom was the living room, I was stuck. Why did the Universe want me here so badly? What was it that I had to learn?
After a couple of hours of this diatribe, I finally intervened. I calmly stated that we all have our own journeys to make. We are all here to learn particular lessons that we assigned ourselves on our spiritual contracts before we were born. We do not know what lessons others are trying to learn. While it is a wonderful thing to give suggestions for a new way to look at something, if the other person is not willing to change his or her mind, then we should let it go. Their path is perfect for them. They are gathering the information that they set out to learn that is making them a better spiritual being. Even if the information is to learn what they are not so they can figure out what they are, it is all perfect.
To say that the two women did not see my teaching would be an understatement. They resented my interference. So, since they were not willing to listen to me, I was not going to force my ideas on them and I stopped trying to teach.
Later, the woman who was being verbally attacked left, while the other two remained. One woman accused me of not understanding what they were trying to say to the story teller. The truth, of course was a different story. I saw the whole picture. I told them I actually agreed with most of what they were saying. The difference is that I agreed with it if this scenario had been about me. I knew these women were not listening so I made the decision once again to stop.
Rather sardonically, the woman’s response to me was to question what made me think I could possibly be a writer, healer and spiritual life coach. Her motivation was to hurt my feelings and I would not allow her to do so. I simply answered the question.
“I have had many experiences in my life that have helped given me an opportunity to see things from a much higher perspective then I once did. As a story teller and teacher, I share my experiences with others. If some aspect of what I say speaks to someone else, allowing them to move forward on their journeys, then that is perfect. If someone else is not interested in what I have to say, that is perfect too. I am not a guru, nor do I have any interest in being one. I am a guide, helping others to find their own ways. It is not my job to judge others, nor is it my job to ‘fix’ anyone as there is nothing to fix. Our paths are ideally matched up with who we are in this moment and this moment alone. We are all perfect.”
One rolled her eyes back and the other argued with me. When the two others in the room didn’t hear a word that I said, I realized that the lesson was not for them to have had. I was not their teacher and that was fine. Instead, the lesson was actually for me. There were two things happening at this moment.
In the first place these women were trying to belittle me by inferring that I couldn’t possibly be good at my chosen path. I could have allowed them to get to me and become angry, as well. Instead I chose a different way. I allowed them to have their opinion of me without allowing them to hurt my feelings. Their opinion did not matter. I am of the Divine as are they and I am perfect for where I am in this moment. I knew and know now I am taking the right course and their opinion was of no consequence. I am simply not their teacher and that is fine and perfect. They will learn what they need to learn from others that reflect who they are in a particular moment.
My learning did not end there. I realized that in my professional life and for the most part in my private life I have practiced what I just preached. I am a guide not an interferer. However, in the couple of weeks prior to this evening I, too, had been guilty of trying to ‘fix’ someone. While my tactics were not as strong as the women that evening, I did recognize that on some level I was trying to get in her space to let her see my way of things. She was not interested in hearing and only became argumentative when I gave her my "wiser course of action". I was only trying to help make her a better person, but she is already on her path to be a better person. It is not up to me to change her. I had to see this dramatic example of forcing one’s ideas on another, to see that I too was guilty of the same thing. The Universe needed me to learn this lesson for myself.
Even though we may have the best of intentions, please try to remember that we are creating our own realities as we go along. Our perceptions are different for a reason. Be a teacher and a guide if you wish, but do not try to force your beliefs on someone who is not interested. We all have our own journeys to make and every experience is a part of an integral plan to make us a better Spiritual Being, no matter what the experience might be.
Thank you for reading and Namaste! (The Light in me recognizes the Light in you!)
As an empath, I was feeling all the emotions circulating around the room. I was feeling psychically as well as physically ill. Why were these women trying so hard to present their case I wondered? The woman they were trying to help clearly did not want their assistance in this matter. She had her own thoughts on how she wanted to proceed and that was final. The other two just would not let their “teaching” go.
Under normal circumstances I would have long left the party or at least would have left the room. As I was a guest in the home where we were and my bedroom was the living room, I was stuck. Why did the Universe want me here so badly? What was it that I had to learn?
After a couple of hours of this diatribe, I finally intervened. I calmly stated that we all have our own journeys to make. We are all here to learn particular lessons that we assigned ourselves on our spiritual contracts before we were born. We do not know what lessons others are trying to learn. While it is a wonderful thing to give suggestions for a new way to look at something, if the other person is not willing to change his or her mind, then we should let it go. Their path is perfect for them. They are gathering the information that they set out to learn that is making them a better spiritual being. Even if the information is to learn what they are not so they can figure out what they are, it is all perfect.
To say that the two women did not see my teaching would be an understatement. They resented my interference. So, since they were not willing to listen to me, I was not going to force my ideas on them and I stopped trying to teach.
Later, the woman who was being verbally attacked left, while the other two remained. One woman accused me of not understanding what they were trying to say to the story teller. The truth, of course was a different story. I saw the whole picture. I told them I actually agreed with most of what they were saying. The difference is that I agreed with it if this scenario had been about me. I knew these women were not listening so I made the decision once again to stop.
Rather sardonically, the woman’s response to me was to question what made me think I could possibly be a writer, healer and spiritual life coach. Her motivation was to hurt my feelings and I would not allow her to do so. I simply answered the question.
“I have had many experiences in my life that have helped given me an opportunity to see things from a much higher perspective then I once did. As a story teller and teacher, I share my experiences with others. If some aspect of what I say speaks to someone else, allowing them to move forward on their journeys, then that is perfect. If someone else is not interested in what I have to say, that is perfect too. I am not a guru, nor do I have any interest in being one. I am a guide, helping others to find their own ways. It is not my job to judge others, nor is it my job to ‘fix’ anyone as there is nothing to fix. Our paths are ideally matched up with who we are in this moment and this moment alone. We are all perfect.”
One rolled her eyes back and the other argued with me. When the two others in the room didn’t hear a word that I said, I realized that the lesson was not for them to have had. I was not their teacher and that was fine. Instead, the lesson was actually for me. There were two things happening at this moment.
In the first place these women were trying to belittle me by inferring that I couldn’t possibly be good at my chosen path. I could have allowed them to get to me and become angry, as well. Instead I chose a different way. I allowed them to have their opinion of me without allowing them to hurt my feelings. Their opinion did not matter. I am of the Divine as are they and I am perfect for where I am in this moment. I knew and know now I am taking the right course and their opinion was of no consequence. I am simply not their teacher and that is fine and perfect. They will learn what they need to learn from others that reflect who they are in a particular moment.
My learning did not end there. I realized that in my professional life and for the most part in my private life I have practiced what I just preached. I am a guide not an interferer. However, in the couple of weeks prior to this evening I, too, had been guilty of trying to ‘fix’ someone. While my tactics were not as strong as the women that evening, I did recognize that on some level I was trying to get in her space to let her see my way of things. She was not interested in hearing and only became argumentative when I gave her my "wiser course of action". I was only trying to help make her a better person, but she is already on her path to be a better person. It is not up to me to change her. I had to see this dramatic example of forcing one’s ideas on another, to see that I too was guilty of the same thing. The Universe needed me to learn this lesson for myself.
Even though we may have the best of intentions, please try to remember that we are creating our own realities as we go along. Our perceptions are different for a reason. Be a teacher and a guide if you wish, but do not try to force your beliefs on someone who is not interested. We all have our own journeys to make and every experience is a part of an integral plan to make us a better Spiritual Being, no matter what the experience might be.
Thank you for reading and Namaste! (The Light in me recognizes the Light in you!)
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