For much of my life, I have suffered from 'I am always right and I am going to prove it' disease. I graduated from U.C. Berkeley, I read profusely and I have a pretty high I.Q. Therefore, I am certain I always know what I am talking about. One evening, my girlfriends and I were chatting about who knows what, and I knew I was right about something we were discussing. They continuously argued with me saying I was wrong for several minutes. I pouted for awhile and later that evening when I arrived home, I jumped onto my computer to look up the answer. My boyfriend at the time asked what I was doing and I told him, I was going to email proof to my friends that I was correct. “Why?” he asked. “Because I am right and they kept telling me I am wrong!” “So what?” was his reply. Without paying much attention to him, I resumed in my search and when I found what I was looking for, I cut and pasted it and sent it off to my friends. I was the victor. I was feeling glorious for my prowess. I had won the argument and was queen of my realm. Looking back, I wonder now, why I needed to prove anything at all.
Recently, I realized where I picked up my ‘disease’ from. I inherited it from my father. That man is always right and he will make sure every single person knows it until he is practically blue in the face.
Once, I asked him if I could have a key to the front door to his house. I normally would enter the house by using the coded panel to the garage. However, it doesn’t always work for me unless I push the buttons with extreme precision, directly in the middle of each button pressing so firmly that my thumb feels like it will fall off. Needless to say, it is not a pleasant activity and if the panel still doesn’t like my actions, it practically yells at me and won’t let me try again for another hour. This exchange between the panel and me not only doesn’t make me very happy, I am then stuck outside until my parents get home, which really doesn’t make me happy. I thought it would be easier to simply have a key.
Instead, my father reacted by telling me that I needed a lesson and that everyone else knows how to use it and I needed to learn. The truth is no one else uses it but my father on occasion and I retorted that I already knew how to use it. The wiring is either loose or old and it simply didn’t work half the time for me. This diatribe became such a bitter argument of who was right and my father continued to belittle me in front of everyone until I stood up and screamed, “Fine, I am leaving!” and I walked away.
Three days later my dad had to walk over to the panel to show me he was right in that the garage door always works for everyone. The garage door opened easily for him. He couldn’t let it go and once again I felt drained.
It took that one moment to realize that a lesson was being sent to me, to teach me that we were both right from our own perspectives…both of us. From his perspective the control panel always works for everyone and from mine, it only works half the time for me.
I also learned that in order to prove your position another person must be wrong. Why did I so often feel the need to show confirmation that a person is wrong? Perhaps it is due to a feeling of insecurity. I know from past experience that after proving someone was mistaken, I had a feeling of control. I was more intelligent and clearly the better person. According to The Celestine Prophecy, I was simply stealing the other person’s energy. Because of this theft, what happens to the other person? They feel belittled, betrayed, disrespected. They feel small. Their self-esteem walks out the door. While the so called ‘winner’ sucks up the energy from the so called ‘loser’. This is not a healthy exchange.
Now the shoe was on the other foot and it was my turn to feel like the ‘loser.’ I could feel my energy being drained from my heart and my throat chakras. A thought crossed my mind that I couldn’t imagine an enlightened being such as the Dali Lama arguing over a garage door with anyone. Why was such a little thing being so blown out of proportion? There are far more important things in life.
Recently, I realized where I picked up my ‘disease’ from. I inherited it from my father. That man is always right and he will make sure every single person knows it until he is practically blue in the face.
Once, I asked him if I could have a key to the front door to his house. I normally would enter the house by using the coded panel to the garage. However, it doesn’t always work for me unless I push the buttons with extreme precision, directly in the middle of each button pressing so firmly that my thumb feels like it will fall off. Needless to say, it is not a pleasant activity and if the panel still doesn’t like my actions, it practically yells at me and won’t let me try again for another hour. This exchange between the panel and me not only doesn’t make me very happy, I am then stuck outside until my parents get home, which really doesn’t make me happy. I thought it would be easier to simply have a key.
Instead, my father reacted by telling me that I needed a lesson and that everyone else knows how to use it and I needed to learn. The truth is no one else uses it but my father on occasion and I retorted that I already knew how to use it. The wiring is either loose or old and it simply didn’t work half the time for me. This diatribe became such a bitter argument of who was right and my father continued to belittle me in front of everyone until I stood up and screamed, “Fine, I am leaving!” and I walked away.
Three days later my dad had to walk over to the panel to show me he was right in that the garage door always works for everyone. The garage door opened easily for him. He couldn’t let it go and once again I felt drained.
It took that one moment to realize that a lesson was being sent to me, to teach me that we were both right from our own perspectives…both of us. From his perspective the control panel always works for everyone and from mine, it only works half the time for me.
I also learned that in order to prove your position another person must be wrong. Why did I so often feel the need to show confirmation that a person is wrong? Perhaps it is due to a feeling of insecurity. I know from past experience that after proving someone was mistaken, I had a feeling of control. I was more intelligent and clearly the better person. According to The Celestine Prophecy, I was simply stealing the other person’s energy. Because of this theft, what happens to the other person? They feel belittled, betrayed, disrespected. They feel small. Their self-esteem walks out the door. While the so called ‘winner’ sucks up the energy from the so called ‘loser’. This is not a healthy exchange.
Now the shoe was on the other foot and it was my turn to feel like the ‘loser.’ I could feel my energy being drained from my heart and my throat chakras. A thought crossed my mind that I couldn’t imagine an enlightened being such as the Dali Lama arguing over a garage door with anyone. Why was such a little thing being so blown out of proportion? There are far more important things in life.
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Had I learned my lesson yet? It was time to put the information to the test. One evening after yoga class, I asked a woman who was in close proximity to me in the locker room if she enjoyed the class. I was surprised by her insistence on how much she hated the class due to the controlling nature of the teacher. She considered the fact that since she had taken yoga for 12 years she didn’t need his or anyone else’s instruction.
Had I learned my lesson yet? It was time to put the information to the test. One evening after yoga class, I asked a woman who was in close proximity to me in the locker room if she enjoyed the class. I was surprised by her insistence on how much she hated the class due to the controlling nature of the teacher. She considered the fact that since she had taken yoga for 12 years she didn’t need his or anyone else’s instruction.
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I listened to her with kind eyes and responded by telling her I was sorry she didn’t enjoy the class and that I loved this class.
I listened to her with kind eyes and responded by telling her I was sorry she didn’t enjoy the class and that I loved this class.
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“I know, I could tell,” she said snidely.
“I know, I could tell,” she said snidely.
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She then added that our teacher’s girlfriend also taught yoga and she did not correct every movement of the participants. I then asked if his girlfriend taught Anusara Yoga, since Anusara is somewhat different than other styles. I added that all the teachers at this gym who teach that style of yoga are perfectionists, as well.
She then added that our teacher’s girlfriend also taught yoga and she did not correct every movement of the participants. I then asked if his girlfriend taught Anusara Yoga, since Anusara is somewhat different than other styles. I added that all the teachers at this gym who teach that style of yoga are perfectionists, as well.
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I was about to add that Anusara was about the opening of the heart and perfecting the alignment between the human body and the soul, but I decided better of it. In that moment I knew that from her perspective she was right and from mine I was right. I didn’t feel the need to prove anything. I knew that we see only what we want to see and under no circumstances was she going to be swayed to see what I see. Why bother challenging her? I felt no need to strike an argument. So, I politely remarked, “Well, it wasn't your cup of tea and that is fine. It's perfect.” In that moment, I made a shift and because of that her entire attitude towards me shifted, as well. She smiled and said, “That’s right,” and we went our separate ways. All’s well that ends well. Neither of us gained the other person’s energy and neither of us lost any either.
I was about to add that Anusara was about the opening of the heart and perfecting the alignment between the human body and the soul, but I decided better of it. In that moment I knew that from her perspective she was right and from mine I was right. I didn’t feel the need to prove anything. I knew that we see only what we want to see and under no circumstances was she going to be swayed to see what I see. Why bother challenging her? I felt no need to strike an argument. So, I politely remarked, “Well, it wasn't your cup of tea and that is fine. It's perfect.” In that moment, I made a shift and because of that her entire attitude towards me shifted, as well. She smiled and said, “That’s right,” and we went our separate ways. All’s well that ends well. Neither of us gained the other person’s energy and neither of us lost any either.
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Each of us sees life from our own perspectives. I am no longer on the market to acquire someone else’s energy nor do I wish to give mine away unnecessarily. When someone else is ‘wrong’, I choose to remember that they are only wrong from my point of view. I honor everyone’s journey and send blessings to those I disagree with as I have my own journey to make.
Thank you for reading and Namaste! (The Light in me recognizes the Light in you!)
Each of us sees life from our own perspectives. I am no longer on the market to acquire someone else’s energy nor do I wish to give mine away unnecessarily. When someone else is ‘wrong’, I choose to remember that they are only wrong from my point of view. I honor everyone’s journey and send blessings to those I disagree with as I have my own journey to make.
Thank you for reading and Namaste! (The Light in me recognizes the Light in you!)
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