Everyone is familiar with Frank Capra's tale of George Bailey's life: a man who passionately wants to travel the world and build grand buildings to make his mark. Life didn't exactly go as he planned. He never saw the world and he always had to scrimp and save to make ends meet.
When his uncle "misplaced" $8,000 and George faced not only an audit, but jail time, he thought he was worth more dead than alive.
He was about to jump off a bridge so that his family could collect the money from his life insurance policy when an angel named Clarence saved him. Clarence then showed him what life would have been like if he had never been born.
Life looked a little different without him. George wasn't there to save his brother when they were children and therefore his brother wasn't there to save his men during a battle in WWII. Without George, his uncle was in an insane asylum; his mother was an embittered old woman without family. The shape of the town itself transformed from a sleepy town to a place filled with gambling houses and prostitutes where the townspeople themselves were bitter and drank to forget their sorrows. George’s affordable homes were never built because he was not there to build them. His wife was now a spinster that worked at the local library and, of course, his own children had never been born.
George opened not only his eyes, but his heart and saw for himself how many lives he touched. He realized that he did indeed have a wonderful life. His “life’s mark” was to raise the consciousness of his community. Once he understood this, he attracted the abundance he needed to pay his debt. He was loved. He was Love.
Granted this plot is from a movie, but it depicts how in reality we all touch so many lives every day without even realizing it.
I have recently had the amazing gift of seeing how many lives one person has touched.
On Mother’s Day, 2008, my brother, Cary, was killed in an unforeseen motorcycle accident. Needless to say it has been a difficult time for my family and all his friends. Many tears have been shed and many hearts have been broken.
While most people around me understandably only see the anger, sadness and emptiness they feel for their loss, I am amazed at the dichotomy of emotions I am feeling. For I not only have those feelings, I also see the great beauty I have witnessed during this time.
Within a few hours of his death I started to see forgiveness everywhere. The pain from the past between various people seemed to be meaningless now and a unity of our unconventional family and friends was being formed. Forgiveness is one of the highest gifts in life and I believe my brother gave it to our family.
In addition to forgiveness, plants, flowers and cards began arriving on a daily basis from well-wishers. Checks were delivered as donations for his children’s trust fund. When the trust was originally set up, it was thought the kids might receive a small amount to help get their college funds started. Donations were sent from family, friends, colleagues and clients he never met in person, but spoke to regularly on the phone. His office launched a Bake Sale to raise even more funds. The outpouring of generosity from those who loved Cary far surpassed any of our expectations. Just when we thought we were done receiving money, another check would arrive and another and another. It truly took (and still takes) my breath away. All this was to honor the man who was their father.
The day of his “Celebration of Life” Party arrived and the ubiquitous flow of guests from all facets of his life came together to celebrate their memories of him. Tales of high school hair cuts and “cool” clothes; parties and brotherhood and all the “I remember when’s.” My parents entertain often in their home, but I have never seen so many people here at one time. There were those who sat in chairs and those who stood. People were using decks and side areas never before used. There were literally layers of people on various levels of the grounds and home. It was lovely to see that so many were a part of this man’s life.
The on-line guest book set up by a local newspaper is filled with loving thoughts and memories of Cary. As of this date, there are 14 pages of thoughts of sadness, sympathy and of love for him. He was always there for anyone who needed him. From help with a computer to listening to your troubles, whatever you needed he would lend a hand. Surprisingly, for me, there were not only messages left from friends and family, but from those he never met. Various witnesses from the crash site wrote kind words. A woman from a different department in the large company he worked for heard of his passing and felt compelled to sit in his desk chair surrounded by his photos and his things just soaking his energy in. A man who had heard that Cary was a wonderful family man from a friend of his had inadvertently met my parents and gave them a flower. Even in death Cary touched so many lives.
He was a little boy with who wanted to be a cowboy. He was a “cool” teenager with his moped and cigars. He had a unique ability to show compassion to people and animals. He will always be remembered as the family BBQ master, grilling up and cutting the meats with finesse. Most importantly, he will be remembered for his tremendous capacity as a father. He could have easily won father of the year many times over. Even the biological father of his daughter, wrote that Cary was a better father to his daughter than he could ever hope to be. Cary made sure to call her father every week to share with him the happenings in her life. He was not jealous of their relationship. He was inclusive.
With tears in our eyes, we are filled with love and loss as we watched the photo prospective on DVD allowing us to relive the perfect moments from his life all over again. From a baby, to playing The Fonz on Halloween; to singing Steve Martin’s King Tut with his faux Egyptian Dance; playing in Tahoe and in Hawaii; graduating with friends and their crazy haircuts; growing up with the woman who would be his wife; walking his parents down the aisle, to walking down the aisle himself with his childhood sweetheart, to celebrating the birth of his child; and raising and loving his two children who are his legacy.
He was a man of kindness, gentleness, honor and respect. He was our magnificent father, son, brother and friend and will remain in our hearts forever.
I wonder if Cary knew in life how much he was loved. I think sometimes we are all caught up in our individual dramas and don’t pay attention to how many lives we impact. Sometimes we need to step back from our own lives and 'know' that it is blessed. Cary’s most certainly was a wonderful life. Like George Bailey, Cary helped to raise the consciousness of his community. I am grateful I have been a witness to a great outpouring of love and affection by those many lives that Cary touched and I thank him dearly for being a part of mine. Now, like the caterpillar that turns into a beautiful butterfly, Cary has transformed sharing his his love and affection somewhere else.
Until we meet again, my brother, please visit me in my dreams.
Thank you for reading and Namaste! (The Light in me recognizes the Light in you!)
When his uncle "misplaced" $8,000 and George faced not only an audit, but jail time, he thought he was worth more dead than alive.
He was about to jump off a bridge so that his family could collect the money from his life insurance policy when an angel named Clarence saved him. Clarence then showed him what life would have been like if he had never been born.
Life looked a little different without him. George wasn't there to save his brother when they were children and therefore his brother wasn't there to save his men during a battle in WWII. Without George, his uncle was in an insane asylum; his mother was an embittered old woman without family. The shape of the town itself transformed from a sleepy town to a place filled with gambling houses and prostitutes where the townspeople themselves were bitter and drank to forget their sorrows. George’s affordable homes were never built because he was not there to build them. His wife was now a spinster that worked at the local library and, of course, his own children had never been born.
George opened not only his eyes, but his heart and saw for himself how many lives he touched. He realized that he did indeed have a wonderful life. His “life’s mark” was to raise the consciousness of his community. Once he understood this, he attracted the abundance he needed to pay his debt. He was loved. He was Love.
Granted this plot is from a movie, but it depicts how in reality we all touch so many lives every day without even realizing it.
I have recently had the amazing gift of seeing how many lives one person has touched.
On Mother’s Day, 2008, my brother, Cary, was killed in an unforeseen motorcycle accident. Needless to say it has been a difficult time for my family and all his friends. Many tears have been shed and many hearts have been broken.
While most people around me understandably only see the anger, sadness and emptiness they feel for their loss, I am amazed at the dichotomy of emotions I am feeling. For I not only have those feelings, I also see the great beauty I have witnessed during this time.
Within a few hours of his death I started to see forgiveness everywhere. The pain from the past between various people seemed to be meaningless now and a unity of our unconventional family and friends was being formed. Forgiveness is one of the highest gifts in life and I believe my brother gave it to our family.
In addition to forgiveness, plants, flowers and cards began arriving on a daily basis from well-wishers. Checks were delivered as donations for his children’s trust fund. When the trust was originally set up, it was thought the kids might receive a small amount to help get their college funds started. Donations were sent from family, friends, colleagues and clients he never met in person, but spoke to regularly on the phone. His office launched a Bake Sale to raise even more funds. The outpouring of generosity from those who loved Cary far surpassed any of our expectations. Just when we thought we were done receiving money, another check would arrive and another and another. It truly took (and still takes) my breath away. All this was to honor the man who was their father.
The day of his “Celebration of Life” Party arrived and the ubiquitous flow of guests from all facets of his life came together to celebrate their memories of him. Tales of high school hair cuts and “cool” clothes; parties and brotherhood and all the “I remember when’s.” My parents entertain often in their home, but I have never seen so many people here at one time. There were those who sat in chairs and those who stood. People were using decks and side areas never before used. There were literally layers of people on various levels of the grounds and home. It was lovely to see that so many were a part of this man’s life.
The on-line guest book set up by a local newspaper is filled with loving thoughts and memories of Cary. As of this date, there are 14 pages of thoughts of sadness, sympathy and of love for him. He was always there for anyone who needed him. From help with a computer to listening to your troubles, whatever you needed he would lend a hand. Surprisingly, for me, there were not only messages left from friends and family, but from those he never met. Various witnesses from the crash site wrote kind words. A woman from a different department in the large company he worked for heard of his passing and felt compelled to sit in his desk chair surrounded by his photos and his things just soaking his energy in. A man who had heard that Cary was a wonderful family man from a friend of his had inadvertently met my parents and gave them a flower. Even in death Cary touched so many lives.
He was a little boy with who wanted to be a cowboy. He was a “cool” teenager with his moped and cigars. He had a unique ability to show compassion to people and animals. He will always be remembered as the family BBQ master, grilling up and cutting the meats with finesse. Most importantly, he will be remembered for his tremendous capacity as a father. He could have easily won father of the year many times over. Even the biological father of his daughter, wrote that Cary was a better father to his daughter than he could ever hope to be. Cary made sure to call her father every week to share with him the happenings in her life. He was not jealous of their relationship. He was inclusive.
With tears in our eyes, we are filled with love and loss as we watched the photo prospective on DVD allowing us to relive the perfect moments from his life all over again. From a baby, to playing The Fonz on Halloween; to singing Steve Martin’s King Tut with his faux Egyptian Dance; playing in Tahoe and in Hawaii; graduating with friends and their crazy haircuts; growing up with the woman who would be his wife; walking his parents down the aisle, to walking down the aisle himself with his childhood sweetheart, to celebrating the birth of his child; and raising and loving his two children who are his legacy.
He was a man of kindness, gentleness, honor and respect. He was our magnificent father, son, brother and friend and will remain in our hearts forever.
I wonder if Cary knew in life how much he was loved. I think sometimes we are all caught up in our individual dramas and don’t pay attention to how many lives we impact. Sometimes we need to step back from our own lives and 'know' that it is blessed. Cary’s most certainly was a wonderful life. Like George Bailey, Cary helped to raise the consciousness of his community. I am grateful I have been a witness to a great outpouring of love and affection by those many lives that Cary touched and I thank him dearly for being a part of mine. Now, like the caterpillar that turns into a beautiful butterfly, Cary has transformed sharing his his love and affection somewhere else.
Until we meet again, my brother, please visit me in my dreams.
Thank you for reading and Namaste! (The Light in me recognizes the Light in you!)
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